Chinese Facebook users have recently been spreading a comic video about “12 signs of bad parenting.” The video is considered provocative and touches on sensitive points for many parents.
Parents try to show love for their children by giving them too much freedom, unknowingly spoiling their kids, and harming their healthy growth. On the other hand, those parents who love their children by over-disciplining them will ultimately not achieve a result that is beneficial for their child’s healthy development.
Many experts agree that only parents who impose the correct tutoring method will be able to successfully ensure the healthy growth and development of their children.
Much of a child’s bad behavior may be linked to how their parents go about disciplining them when they do something wrong.
In a nutshell, the video makes the claim that much of a child’s bad behavior can be traced back to the parents and how the parents have brought up their children.
The following is a summary of the “12 signs of bad parenting”:
1. Your child always disturbs you intentionally
The reason may be the lack of physical contact or intimacy between parent and child.
2. Does your child often lie to you?
If so, this shows you have overreacted to the mistakes he or she committed.
3. Your child lacks self-confidence
The reason might be that you scold your child more than you encourage him or her.
4. Your children find it difficult to be faithful to themselves and their convictions
According to the video, the reason is that you often discipline them in public, in front of others. Doing this can make a child feel humiliated and, over time, repeated instances like this may harm your child’s self-esteem.
Parents should avoid disciplining their children in front of others, not even siblings or other relatives.
5. You ask your child to buy something, but they get what they want and not what you asked them to buy
Apparently, this is due to parents not allowing their children to choose what they want enough.
6. Is your child easily scared or intimidated?
Helping a child too quickly and trying to sweep every obstacle out of their way could be the main reason for this.
7. Your child is very jealous
The reason might be that you show a preference to other children more often, especially if there are one or more siblings.
8. Your child gets upset very fast
The reason might be that the parents don’t praise their children often enough. If misconduct seems like the only way to get attention, children will use it.
9. Your child doesn’t respect the feelings of others and lacks empathy.
According to the video, the reason is that the parents always order their children to do something, regardless of how they feel.
10. Your child seems overly secretive and doesn’t tell you anything
A reason for this may be that you always choose to punish your child by hitting him or her.
11. Does your child behave in a cruel or rude way toward others?
If yes, then you might need to check out how their friends behave, or re-evaluate how you as a parent behave toward your children.
12. Do you relate to any one of the following four scales of parenting?
- Authoritarian: High-level demanding parents with high responsiveness, support, and warmth.
- Authoritative: High-level demanding parents with low responsiveness, support, and warmth.
- Uninvolved: Low-level demanding parents with low responsiveness, support, and warmth.
- Permissive: Low-level demanding parents with high responsiveness, support, and warmth.
The video is not meant to be an ultimate guide on how to be a good parent, as every child, parent, and environment differs. It is merely meant to provoke parents into reflecting about the way they parent, and whether they might be able to improve knowing these telltale signs of “bad” parenting.