The Traditional Masculine Code: Complaining and Explaining

A man looking at a sunset.

When making a list of manly traits, complaining and explaining should be left off. (Image: successdhamala via Pixabay)

Today, a growing section of society depends on sketchy Instagram posts, Whatsapp memes, and cringingly superficial TikTok clips to understand what is required from a male to be regarded as an acceptable cog in the everyday social machinery. Complaining and feeling the need to explain yourself are not acceptable to others.

Some of the stereotypical “male” traits include being relentlessly confident, a consistent provider, a protector of the weak, a perennial problem solver, a passionate lover, and an anchor of support in stressful times. In today’s modern world, ascribing these traits only to men will get you labeled as politically incorrect.

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Today, we have more than a fair share of examples to show that women are perfectly capable of taking over, or at least sharing, a man’s responsibilities. The modern man happily accepts this paradigm shift as a sign of evolving societal norms. Having said that, there still remain a few traditional virtues that “good men” are hardwired to hold onto even in the face of these changes, along with a couple that they really should let go of.

Complaining is counterproductive

There are several reasons why constant complaining makes a man undesirable, but it all boils down to one essential point — complaining makes you come across as weak. The ideal stance for a man to take during times of challenge and suffering is to be calm, strong, and silent, pushing forward until he finds the solution.

For sure, taking an objective assessment of the negative factors in a situation is one thing, but moaning and complaining about your situation just sends out a negative vibe and makes you part of the problem rather than the solution.

Constant complaining makes you come across as being weak.
Constant complaining makes you come across as weak. (Image: Bursa via Pixabay)

“There is nothing wrong with being aware of the difficulty of a situation but the very microsecond you decide to give in and complain about your struggle you have chosen to believe you are a victim and not a victor,” says

Apart from the negativity, the more damaging aspect of chronic complaining is the impact it has on your own psyche. It shuts you out from the creative space that facilitates the honing of your problem-solving skills. The more you complain, the less productive you become.

You attract people like you. The easiest way to set yourself up for failure is to surround yourself with unmotivated people who have perfected the art of passing the blame and playing the victim card the instant a situation goes south. By maintaining a positive outlook and pushing forward through tough situations, you enhance your clout and build up a network of strong, resourceful individuals who contribute positively to their community.

Giving an explanation

According to “To be concerned with what someone outside your circle of respect thinks, is to allow yourself to be pulled down to his or her level.”

This is one of the cardinal rules that a confident male needs to abide by at all times. The reasons do not vary much from what was mentioned above. When you explain yourself to someone, there’s a power balance shift that puts you on shaky ground. Now, of course, there are definitely situations where it’s perfectly normal and sometimes outright necessary that you do explain yourself.

These instances include when you are asked by your superior to back up something you did with a viable professional explanation and when there has been a misunderstanding between you and a loved one in your family or someone you consider in your inner circle of trust.

You do have to give an explanation when there has been a misunderstanding between you and a loved one in your family.
You do have to give an explanation when there has been a misunderstanding between you and a loved one in your family. (Image: Surprising_Shots via Pixabay)

These are scenarios where you can feel obligated to set things right so that your living or professional environment stays healthy and the status quo is maintained. In this day and age, where social media has empowered everyone with an opinion and a reasonably good WiFi signal, it’s easy to get trapped in a vicious cycle of regret and explanations.

This is especially true for creative professionals. It’s never a good idea to even respond to random people who attack you on public platforms for expressing an opinion or presenting your work. When you explain yourself to such people, it sets up the notion that you are lacking confidence in your actions or creative work.

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