Every parent gets into fights with their children. It is definitely normal for such fights to occur. However, some conflicts can get so heated up that they might leave a permanent scar in the mind of your child. To make matters worse, you might be the one at fault! Moving forward, your child might not interact the way they did prior to the conflict. As time goes on, their entire behavior can change. And before you know it, your child comes to hate you. If you’re involved in such high-intensity fights where the fault is on your side, you need to immediately take action to mend the relationship.
Understand their perspective
First of all, try to understand the reason for the conflict from your child’s perspective. For instance, you might have a rule that forbids your child from venturing out of home after 7 p.m. However, maybe your child wanted to go to his friend’s home to play a video game rather than stay at home and be bored. Your refusal to let the child go to his friend’s home can end up in a fight. Your child might believe that you want him to remain isolated at home.
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Now, is a child asking for some playtime with their friend such a big issue? Not at all. You may have set the 7 p.m. time slot with good intentions so as to protect your child or you may not be free to pick them up from their friend’s home at night. However, from the child’s perspective, he is just home all alone with nothing to do! You can try for a compromise. Maybe you can allow them to stay at the friend’s home until 9 p.m. once a week. This will let the child know that you are compromising, thereby preventing any long-term antagonism against you.
When you realize you are in the wrong, apologize. Do not hesitate at all. Never think that just because you are an adult, you have the power to do anything and get away with it. This is the worst way to raise children. When children know 100 percent that you are at fault and you don’t even try to accept it, they will never trust you in the future. After all, how can they? You just lied straight to their face! When you do apologize for your mistake, you set a precedent — you let the child know that no matter who makes a mistake, apologizing is necessary. This will ensure that your child trusts you. In fact, they might themselves be inspired to be honest with you at all times.
Remember to have patience when dealing with your child after the conflict. “When working on a repair, don’t force it. Some days it may seem that your efforts are not making a difference. Your child may be skeptical of your intentions or wondering if you will be consistent. Above all, your child wants to know that you love and value them and the relationship. Your hard work is not for nothing, but it may take time to see the results,” according to Imperfect Families.
Do something together
Some children might be too angry at you. However, their hearts can be positively influenced if you do something together with them. Maybe your child loves Marvel movies and there is a new film releasing this week. If so, you can take them to the movies. Or you can go for a weekend trip with your family to some tranquil place. Spending some quality time together will create good memories that will wash off the negativity in the relationship.