Monday, October 18, 2021

The Art of Resolving Personal Conflicts

Resolving personal conflicts can be quite tricky and most people find it to be a daunting undertaking. People think in different ways and they often have varying likings and priorities in life and the difference in mindset and thought process leads to conflict among individuals. There can be conflicts among friends, co-workers, and even members of the same family.

Why is resolving personal conflicts necessary?

If you do not take the initiative to resolve personal conflicts, the results can be detrimental. Holding on to one’s ego and grudges do not do any good in the long run. Keeping the conflict alive can worsen relationships and it may even lead to termination of relationships. In fact, keeping grudges against anyone in the mind for long can impact your overall mental wellbeing. It may add to your stress level, beyond any doubt. So it is a necessity to attain peace of mind.

If you do not take the initiative to resolve personal conflicts, the results can be detrimental. (Image: 984949 via Pexels)

A guide to resolving conflicts on a personal level

In resolving personal conflicts, both parties need to be prepared mentally so that resolving is possible. It is not about proving anyone’s point in an argument. A spirit of cooperation and logical analysis is what can help you in addressing an existing conflict. 

  • You must choose a suitable place for conflict resolution. It should not be a crowded place or a location where elements of distraction are present. The ambiance of the place has to be quiet so that both the people can think clearly and do not feel annoyed or irritated easily. It may be inside the house or if you choose an outdoor location, it must be comfortable for both of you. 
  • The time chosen for conflict resolution is also important. You should not pick a time when you or the other person have something else to do. If you have anything at the back of your mind while you are trying to resolve a conflict, the result will not be good. Choose a time when both of you are free and do not have any other engagement. 
  • It is important to maintain calmness and be logical in your approach when you are resolving personal conflicts. Evade the temptation of getting angry and resist from saying something that can provoke the other person. Using fiery language will only worsen the situation and defeat the purpose of the meeting. Later, you may also regret your actions.
  • In resolving personal conflicts, remember that it is not about winning an argument. It is about finding a feasible solution to an issue that is bothering both parties. Also, you have to analyze the importance of the issue. Is it really that important to disrupt your peace of mind? Sometimes, you may just ignore certain issues to resolve long-pending conflicts. It may also be worthwhile if the other person has a very different wavelength and is incapable of thinking logically.
  • While it may be hard to implement, you should not think in a biased way while trying to resolve any conflict. Try to think from a logical perspective while interacting with the person. When you answer or present your views, back up your statements with logic. Speak in a composed way and do not speak too fast. The other person should be able to listen to everything you say. Maintain coherence in your statements as well.
  • It is best to evade using too much emotion, especially a sympathetic tone if you are keen on resolving any conflict. Resorting to tears, emotions do not work well in these situations either. It may portray you as an emotionally manipulative person to others. 
In resolving personal conflicts, both parties need to be prepared mentally so that resolving is possible.
To resolve a conflict, both parties need to be prepared mentally so that resolving is possible. (Image: Ocusfocus via Dreamstime)


There is no fixed formula for addressing an existing conflict. However, using a logical approach, maintaining calmness, and resisting getting emotional and angry can be useful in resolving personal conflicts. However, it is prudent to tweak your approach based on your equation with the other person involved. For example, the way used to resolve conflicts with a friend will not be the same when you want to resolve an issue with a family member or someone junior to you. 

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Armin Auctor
Armin Auctor is an author who has been writing for more than a decade, with his main focus on Lifestyle, personal development, and ethical subjects like the persecution of minorities in China and human rights.

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