Parents can be selfless, but they must not allow their children to be selfish. As the old saying goes: “A drop of grace should be repaid with a spring of water.” Gratitude is the most basic cultivation of a human being. Let your child learn to care and help your child learn to be grateful, which is conducive to the formation of good character and will benefit your child throughout his or her life.
It’s not just traditional wisdom that we refer to; an article published in 2017 by The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, shows four ways that gratitude has a positive effect on mental health.
Expressing gratitude creates positive emotions; gratitude as a state of mind benefits the individual even if not shared with others; gratitude builds over time, it is not instant gratification; passing on gratitude can be viewed as “paying it forward.”
Robert Emmons, an acclaimed writer on the subject of gratitude says that “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts, and benefits we’ve received.”
He continues to explain that “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves… We acknowledge that other people e— or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset — gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.”
So, how can children learn to be grateful and care for others? We have summarised the following points that we hope will help parents build up good habits to assist their children.
5 Ways to help children develop gratitude
1. Don’t let the child demand anything and everything
If you want to buy a new school bag, for example, you can give your child points for completing household chores, and then give them the freedom to purchase their bag as a reward.
2. Don’t indulge your child, let them learn to share
What parents cook is what children in the family should also eat and the family will function together. Everything should be shared, except for some special nutritional products for children. If there are elderly people at home, show respect for the elders by giving them something good to eat first, giving the elders gifts on New Year’s Day and holidays, and calling them frequently if they are far away.
3. When a family goes shopping, don’t just consider the needs of the children
If the child is has outgrown their shoes and you need to buy them a new pair, and dad also needs to buy a new shirt, you may want to explain the situation to your child before you go shopping. You could say something like: “Let’s go and buy the shirt that Dad wants first and then go pick out shoes for you, okay?” You could even ask your child to help Dad pick out the shirt.
4. Don’t do your child’s share of the work to save time or because you lack tolerance
Don’t do for your child what he can do for himself. If your 2-year-old or 3-year-old is dressing, let him do it himself; if your school-aged child is packing his school bag, don’t do it for him; if your school organizes a spring trip, let your child plan what they will require for the trip. This way, children will learn how to be independent and help themselves.
5. You can sometimes tell your child about the hardships of your job
Every parent has had a hard time at work. Parents can occasionally tell their children about the hardships and suffering they have gone through, so the children will learn life lessons and grow up with understanding and gratitude. A child who knows how to be grateful will appreciate what others have done for him and will cherish what he has received.
Video of Robert Emmons speaking about gratitude:
