There is something on which we all agree: It is important to balance life by keeping all priorities in mind. This stands true for relationships as well, particularly those that are closest to your heart. It is important to be supportive, but without attempting to rescue your loved one. There are many times when we tend to overdo things in an attempt to rescue our near and dear ones from trouble. And this is where problems start — for the person you are rescuing as well as for you. Differences and arguments crop up disturbing the balance in the relationship.
Do you have a tendency of always rescuing your husband?
As a wife, if you have the tendency of always rescuing your husband, feel reassured that you are not alone. This is a common problem that many wives have but they actually don’t realize it until it is too late. Basically, it is the natural tendency of women to be caring. Most women tend to reach out to people when they are hurting or when they need any kind of help. And if the person is your husband, you are sure to jump in to help and rescue him from the situation.
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Most of the time, rescuing leads to taking the problems of the man onto your own shoulders. And gradually, you might end up doing the man’s work altogether, taking more stress on yourself. And your husband might not pay heed to your problems at all.
Another thing that has come up from studies and surveys is that when a woman constantly saves and rescues a man by taking up his responsibilities or by solving his problems, she is basically treating the man like her child. The man takes full liberty of the situation and does anything he wants without thinking of consequences.
Be supportive instead
If you see that your husband is struggling with something, it is good to be supportive instead of running to his rescue immediately. Rescuing your husband is no solution to the problem. Also, if you keep on doing this over and over again, your husband will be less of a man to you and more of a child who needs constant care and protection. It is good to be empathetic, you can offer guidance or lend a hand for help. But don’t take up his problems as your own.
Tips on how to support your husband
- Encouragement and validation – Encouraging words help in boosting up confidence levels of any man. And when it comes from his wife, it works like magic. When you are encouraging your husband, you are helping him in boosting his confidence so that he can manage issues on his own.
- Listen to problems without rushing to help – Sometimes, mere sharing of problems helps in finding solutions. When your husband is stressed about something, listen to him; it will make him feel better. Once his worry is offloaded, he might be able to find a solution to the problem himself.
- Take a little time – Just restrain yourself from jumping to help your husband in the wink of an eye. Have patience and take a little time. You will see that your husband might try becoming independent and look to solve his problems on his own.
- Asking supportive questions helps – Ask supportive questions which might have a hint of help in them. Your husband will get an idea and feel supported at the same time. Moreover, he will be able to think for himself, boosting his self-confidence.
Rescuing your husband is never the ideal thing to do. It doesn’t show how much you love your husband. Rather try to be supportive and help him in gaining back his self-confidence so that he can deal with issues on his own.