How to Be Supportive Without Rescuing Your Husband

A woman sitting with a man in a restaurant with a worried expression on her face while he talks.
No one wants to see their loved ones suffer, but constantly 'rescuing' your husband isn't the answer. (Image: Eldar Nurkovic via Dreamstime)

There is something on which we all agree: It is important to balance life by keeping all priorities in mind. This also stands true for relationships, particularly those closest to your heart. It is important to be supportive, but without attempting to rescue your loved one. We often tend to overdo things to rescue our near and dear ones from trouble. And this is where problems start — for the person you are rescuing and for you. Differences and arguments crop up, disturbing the balance in the relationship.

Do you have a tendency of always rescuing your husband?

As a wife, if you tend to always rescue your husband, feel reassured that you are not alone. This is a common problem that many wives have, but they don’t realize it until it is too late. It is the natural tendency of women to be caring. Most women tend to reach out to people who are hurting or need help. And if the person is your husband, you will jump in to help and rescue him from the situation. 

Most of the time, rescuing takes the man’s problems onto your shoulders. And gradually, you might end up doing the man’s work altogether, putting more stress on yourself. And your husband might not pay heed to your problems at all. 

Smiling man with a game controller in one hand and a slice of pizzSmiling man with a game controller in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other sits on the floor with a gray sofa behind him and a small end table next to him holding his snacks.a in the other
Rescuing your husband will push him toward acting like an irresponsible child who doesn’t care about his problems or your own. (Image: Alessandro Biascioli via Dreamstime)

Another thing that has come up from studies and surveys is that when a woman constantly saves and rescues a man by taking up his responsibilities or solving his problems, she treats the man like her child. The man takes full liberty of the situation and does anything he wants without thinking of consequences. 

Be supportive instead

If your husband is struggling with something, it is good to be supportive instead of running to his rescue immediately. Rescuing your husband is no solution to the problem. Also, if you keep on doing this over and over again, your husband will be less of a man to you and more of a child who needs constant care and protection. It is good to be empathetic; you can offer guidance or lend a hand for help. But don’t take up his problems as your own. 

Tips on how to support your husband

  • Encouragement and validation — Encouraging words help boost the confidence levels of any man. And when it comes from his wife, it works like magic. When you encourage your husband, you help him boost his confidence so he can manage issues independently. 
By being supportive of your husband, you are helping him in boosting his confidence so that he can manage issues on his own.
By supporting your husband, you are helping him boost his confidence so he can manage issues independently. (Image: Albertshakirov via Dreamstime)
  • Listen to problems without rushing to help — Sometimes, sharing problems helps find solutions. When your husband is stressed about something, be supportive and listen to him; it will make him feel better. Once his worry is offloaded, he might be able to find a solution to the problem himself. 
  • Take a little time — Restrain yourself from jumping to help your husband in the wink of an eye. Have patience and take a little time. You will see that your husband might try becoming independent and look to solve his problems on his own. 
  • Asking supportive questions helps — Ask supportive questions that might have a hint of help. Your husband will get an idea and feel supported at the same time. Moreover, he will be able to think for himself, boosting his self-confidence. 

Rescuing your husband is never the ideal thing to do. It doesn’t show how much you love your husband. Instead, try to be supportive and help him regain his self-confidence so that he can deal with issues on his own.

Follow us on TwitterFacebook, or Pinterest 

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU