The Best Thing You Can Do for Your Children: Love Your Spouse

Husband kissing his wife who is holding their baby as they are relaxing together on the couch.
As parents, especially first-time ones, it can be exhilarating to document every milestone of your child's life. (Image: Anna Om via Dreamstime)

Nowadays, people remain so busy with their lives that they get little time to think about how their actions or lifestyle impact others in the family. There are instances of parents overlooking the mental needs of their children owing to professional pressure and ceaseless multi-tasking. This eventually creates a rift between the parents and their children.

However, parents need to understand that their children observe them at every point and they learn a lot of things from them. Lack of attention from parents can have an adverse effect on the kids. It is not only about showering love and affection on them. The parents need to be aware of the bond between husband and wife being visible for the overall well-being of the entire family.

Some parents think that it is not necessary for them to show marital bonding to their children. They may think the kids are too young to figure out the implications of the relationship between the parents. However, the truth is parents need to be aware of the love between each other is visible to the children. A healthy and happy marriage is marked by a strong bonding between partners, and the children should be able to feel the love and emotions the parents have for each other. It is beneficial for both them and the parents in the long run. 

The children should be able to feel the love and emotions the parents have for each other.
The children should be able to feel the love and emotions the parents have for each other. (Image: Fizkes via Dreamstime)

Where the parental relationship is poor, the children are negatively affected

When the parents are not close to each other and they maintain a cold distance, it starts affecting the mental landscape of their children. In many households, the spouses grow distant from each other, but they stay together for the sake of the kids or for financial reasons. However, it is not a nice thing when kids start realizing that their parents are not close to each other. It makes them question the feasibility of family bonding and love. These kids find it hard to develop feelings for their siblings as well as their parents. They also grow distant from their parents as they grow up.

There can be instances when you have a difference of opinion with your spouse. It is necessary to resolve such issues and conflicts, for sure. However, that does not mean you will fight with your spouse in front of the children in a nasty manner. That will have a detrimental effect on their mindset. So parents should be careful about maintaining a healthy and loving relationship between them at home. Conflict resolution should be done in a way that does not impact the children negatively. 

Asian couple laying on their stomachs in bed propped up on their arms and smiling at each other while their young daughters lay on top of them.
Parents should be careful about maintaining a healthy and loving relationship between them at home. (Image: Wavebreak Media Ltd via Dreamstime)

A lot of children look up to their parents as role models. In spite of whatever they learn at school, what they observe and learn at home has a great impact on their mindset. So children watching their parents sharing a close bond nurture the same values. They remain affectionate to their siblings and parents. It is also true that as parents, you should practice what you preach to them. If you do not share a close bond with your spouse and yet advise them to be loving toward other family members, they are not likely to take your words seriously.

It is not always necessary to exhibit your love toward your spouse at home in a very loud manner. Small acts of affection and gestures can drive home the message. Examples include aiding your spouse in making dishes on the weekend or creating a handmade gift for his/her birthday etc. It is also a nice idea to take the family out for a surprise dinner outing. Try to strike a balance between loving your spouse and loving your children.

Follow us on TwitterFacebook, or Pinterest

  • Raven Montmorency

    Raven Montmorency is a pen name used for a writer based in India. She has been writing with her main focus on Lifestyle and human rights issues around the world.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU