If you want to succeed in social interactions, remember to follow these 3 simple principles: Focus on people’s strengths, remember the good things people have done for you, and be a friend in need.
If you want to succeed with others, follow these principles
1. To succeed with others, focus on their strengths
Liu Bang, the founder of the Han Dynasty in China (256 B.C.-195 B.C.), summarized the reason for his victory over the oppressive Qin Dynasty at the feast of his celebration. He said: “Regarding making strategies, I am not as good as Zhang Liang. Regarding appeasing the miseries of the common people and providing what the military needs, I am not as good as Xiao He. Regarding leading soldiers to fight and win, I am not as good as Han Xin. But I do know people’s strengths and put them in the right position so they can be the best they can be. That is the real reason we won.”
If you know how to appreciate people’s strengths, you will always find something to learn from everyone. Give others the affirmation and praise they deserve, and you will have many friends who will be there when you need them.
2. To succeed with others, remember the good things people have done for you
There is an Arabian story about two friends going to the beach. On the way, the friends had a quarrel. One of them slapped the other on the face, and the other wrote words of hatred in the sand. Afterward, their path took them to a cliffside. One of them lost his footing and stumbled. Before he fell off the cliff his friend who had slapped him earlier reached for him and saved him. Then the friend who almost fell carved words of gratitude on a rock.
His friend asked him why he wrote words of hatred on the sand and carved words of gratitude on the rock. He told him: “Words of hatred on the sand will disappear with the tides. These words of gratitude will persist for a long time. I do not want to live in hatred and hope the waves will carry it away. Knowing how to appreciate people’s help is a blessing, so I want to carve it on a rock so everyone can remember it forever.”
3. To succeed with others, be a friend in need
Hu Xueyen, a famous businessman (1823-1885) in the late Qing Dynasty in China, frequently helped others in need. Once a cloth dealer had an emergency need for cash. He decided to sell all of his possessions that were worth 5,000 pieces of silver for 2,000 pieces of silver.
When the cloth dealer approached Hu to make the sale, Hu did not agree to it immediately. He asked the dealer to come back the next day. After the dealer left, Hu sent his agents to look into why the cloth dealer was selling his goods so cheaply. After finding out about the cloth dealer’s difficulties, Hu bought his possessions for 5,000 pieces of silver. He also promised him that after he got through his difficulties, he could buy back his possessions at the same price with minimal interest. Hu’s help in need moved the dealer very much, so much so that he became a faithful partner of Hu and helped him very much.
In order to succeed with others, if you help others when they need you, you will have many friends who will help you when you need them.
Translated by Audrey Wang
