As anyone who has experienced it firsthand can attest, despair is a fearsome foe. It drains our energy and motivation, tells us that we are unworthy of happiness, and threatens to engulf us. Despair is the kind of emotional pain that feels impossible to escape from.
And yet, somehow, people do find their way out of the darkness and into the light again. So if you’re struggling with despair that won’t go away, know that you are not alone — and there are things you can do to start feeling better.
10 ways to overcome despair
1. Seek out supportive people
When we’re in pain or despair, it can be tempting to isolate ourselves from others lest they see how weak we are. But this only worsens things because it prevents us from receiving much-needed support and connection. So instead, lean on your friends or family members (or seek out new ones if yours aren’t available).
Talk about what you’re going through openly—even if it feels scary—to receive empathy and understanding rather than judgment or advice (which usually isn’t helpful anyway). These supportive relationships will give you strength as well as provide an important reminder that although your recent experience might feel all-consuming now, it isn’t forever.”
2. Acknowledge that it’s there
The first step to managing anything is acknowledging that it exists. So when despair comes knocking, let it in—but do so with caution. Don’t give it free rein to trample all over everything you hold dear; grant it enough space to be acknowledged and then gently ask it to start packing its bags again.”
3. Meet your desire for distraction with compassion
To avoid feeling the full force of our pain, we often seek out unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive TV-watching, drinking, or numbing ourselves with drugs (prescribed or otherwise). It’s not surprising that we would want to escape from something that feels so incredibly hurtful. However, these things only provide temporary relief and can make us feel worse in the long run.
If you find yourself wanting to distract yourself from your pain at all costs, try meeting those urges with compassion instead of judgment. Acknowledge what you’re feeling without giving into unhealthy impulses.
4. Get moving… carefully
It’s well-known that exercise releases endorphins – the “feel good” chemicals in our brains – which explains why working out is often recommended as a way to combat depression and anxiety. But if you’re struggling with chronic pain or overwhelming sadness, be careful.
5. Consider therapy or medication
If you’ve been dealing with despair for a while and nothing seems to be helping, it might be time to seek professional help. That could mean finding a therapist you connect with who can offer guidance and support or working with a doctor to determine if medication is proper for you.
Some people are initially hesitant to do either of these things because they fear being seen as “weak,” – but the truth is that seeking professional help takes courage, not weakness. And there’s no shame in taking advantage of all the resources available to us.”
6. Try meditation
Despair can involve a lot of dark thoughts. You might feel hopeless, worthless, or angry at life (or even yourself). This can make meditation seem somewhat counterintuitive since it increases awareness of ourselves. But meditation teaches you to pay attention to your thoughts and spirituality without passing judgment or criticizing yourself or others. Meditation doesn’t involve pushing away these thoughts or pretending you don’t have them. Instead, you notice and accept them, then let them go. In this way, meditation can help disrupt cycles of negative thinking.
7. Create or find a supportive community
Whether online or offline, supportive people around you make such an incredible difference when managing difficult emotions like despair, especially when those people ‘get’ what you’re going through. Then you don’t just feel heard but also understood, which can make all the difference in the world.
8. Nourish your body
When we’re bogged down by sadness or anxiety, it’s easy to let physical health take a backseat. After all, who has the energy to cook nutritious meals or exercise regularly when we feel like we can barely keep our heads above water? However, neglecting our bodies only exacerbates feelings of fatigue, malaise, and low self-esteem, which only fuels negative emotions even further.
So do your best to eat well – even if that means doing so in smaller quantities. Drink lots of water, get enough rest and move your body whenever possible, even if it is merely for a quick stroll around the block – these simple acts will help your body feel functional again.
9. Reevaluate your core belief system
Chances are, the things you believe about yourself Have a lot to do with how you’re feeling. After all, It’s hard to feel good about ourselves when we think we’re unworthy of love or undeserving of happiness. If your core beliefs need an overhaul, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or reading self-help books on the topic.
10. Practice or create daily rituals
When despair looms large, it can be helpful to have some daily routine. That grounds us and makes us feel more present. This could be simple: making time each morning for coffee and journaling or going for a walk in nature every evening. Find what works best for you and stick to it religiously – even (and especially!) when you don’t feel like it.
