Dealing with criticism is a challenging yet essential life skill. Building your sense of self-worth takes years, and an ill-received comment can destroy all that. But in life, you’ll inevitably get criticized by your boss, coworkers, family, or even strangers. It would help if you learned to handle it expertly because it’s essential for personal and professional growth.
So how do you deal with it? And do you still have to put up with negative criticism, or is there a way around it?
How to turn criticism into something that helps you grow
The importance of criticism
Constructive criticism is helpful because it highlights your mistakes or shortcomings. In addition, it may open your eyes to a new point of view that you may not have thought of. So positive feedback gives you room for improvement in your personal or professional sphere.
But, of course, there is negative criticism born out of malice, envy, or resentment. You may have encountered it in life or on social media, and the truth is that it hurts. However, knowing the kind of criticism offered is essential in every person’s life. First, it helps you understand how to best use the feedback, and second, it saves you from reacting negatively to constructive criticism.
Understand the critic’s intention
Anytime you get feedback, it’s easier to build a defensive wall without understanding the critic’s motivations. But sometimes, people misinterpret constructive criticism for negative feedback. And from there, it’s easy to become indifferent, resentful, or aggressive toward someone who wants the best for you.
On the other hand, even if the critic has bad intentions, you quickly see the feedback for what it is. Here, having a stock comment in your arsenal like: “I’ve never thought of it that way,” or “That’s an interesting viewpoint,” can help de-escalate the situation while giving you time to think.
Don’t make it personal
Avoid taking it personally, and take time to process what your boss, partner, or coworker is saying. In a professional scenario, the criticism should not be about the person, but about their performance. So before you react, it’s essential to listen first.
Say you are about to do a presentation; wouldn’t it be better if a coworker pointed out a mistake?
Taking criticism as a fact-finding mission makes you more likely to handle it gracefully. And when you dissociate yourself from it, you also avoid a shouting match about who’s right and wrong. Plus, you can truly get the message being passed along.
Delay any reaction
Instant reactions to criticism can have dire consequences. It takes a lot to build your self-esteem, and having someone crush it in minutes isn’t healthy. But that snarky comment or triumphant counter-argument may not win you the points you thought it would.
Sometimes it’s advisable just to put your defensive walls down and wait. It also makes you professional and composed. So take a deep breath, analyze the feedback, and formulate your answers later — you can even wait until the next day.
Accept your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, whether you’re new at your job or a veteran. And admitting your mistakes gives you a platform to improve.
Of course, your ego may prevent you from taking criticism, especially badly-worded comments. But humility and becoming “the bigger person” is essential, especially in professional situations. In addition, if you come across as mature, you are more likely to get more responsibilities.
Remember, accepting your mistakes doesn’t mean apologizing too much or accepting malicious comments. Instead, it means realizing your failures, thanking the critic for their help, and making amends.
Ask for clarification
Put yourself in your critic’s shoes and understand their message. Then, when you request clarification, it shows that you are listening. Sometimes, it also takes effort for your supervisor or spouse to voice their criticism, which may not be a conversation they enjoy.
Asking questions and sticking to the facts also help weed out personal attacks and negative criticism. Most of the time, resentful attacks and negative comments crumble under scrutiny.
Handling criticism with class
The way you deal with this can determine how you navigate life. It would help if you encountered positive and negative feedback in your daily relationships; both are good for growth.
Remember, mistakes are part of life. And when you take criticism as part of this cycle, you avoid unnecessary confrontations or loss of self-esteem. So sit back, take a moment, and handle it gracefully.
