Empathy, reading people, catching vibes, social intelligence, or the ability to read other people’s emotions and inner character — and to use this intel to navigate relationships — has been given many names. Specific individuals seem to be born with social intelligence. But for most of us, it’s something that’s developed — or stunted — over time.
Ancient China’s emperor and high court officials understood the art of reading people. It was considered enormously helpful to discern a person’s character and personality and glimpse their fate. Unlike today, they were not concerned with a person’s physical appearance, but they were more attuned to their aura.
People with an impressive aura
Cao Cao was a Chinese warlord, and as one of the central figures of the Three Kingdoms period, he laid the foundations for what was to become the state of Wei. Cao Cao was planning to receive a Hun messenger representing nomadic people living in Central Asia.
Because Cao Cao was of short stature with no outstanding or impressive features, he ordered the tall and handsome court official Cui Jigui to stand in his place. While receiving the Hun messenger, Cao Cao stood beside Cui Jigui, holding a sword. When the messenger returned to his people, they asked about his impression of the King of Wei. The messenger replied: “The King was dignified and elegant, but the one standing beside him with a sword was a brave warrior.”
People who can see and admire talent
The legendary Chinese poet Li Bai left his hometown for the first time and traveled to the capital, Chang’an. He Zhizang, another famous Chinese poet at the time, visited Li Bai and requested that he bring out one of his poems to read. So Li Bai brought out the poem The Difficulty of the Shu Road and gave it to He Zhizang.
Zhizang did not even finish reading the poem before he started to praise Li Bai for his writing. Then, Zhizang took out a gold tortoise pendant he was wearing and pledged it to Li Bai in exchange for some wine, which he drank happily with him.
People who exhibit kindness
The attribute of kindness brings happiness to others and joy to one’s own life. Li Shutong was a Buddhist monk, artist, and music teacher in the late 19th century. During a class, he noticed a student reading another student’s book while a second student was spitting on the floor.
After class, Li Shutong asked the two students to stay behind. He told them: “Do not read other people’s books or spit in class next time.” The two students wanted to argue back, but Li Shutong bowed to them, and the two suddenly felt embarrassed. Kindness has a lasting effect.
People with a good heart and character
In general, to appreciate people is to understand their character. A person’s morality determines to witness their nature in action. People with good character always express consideration and sympathy for others. Their compassionate heart and kindness have a charming effect. They do things rationally without drawing attention to themselves, and their actions renew our confidence in humankind.
Translated by Chua, B.C.
